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It's obviously not doing you any good. It's a soap opera on steroids, literally." As for hockey, guys skating back and forth hitting a piece of rubber and each other with sticks? I'll never understand it." Now, if you could get the wrestlers into race cars, have them run so many laps, get out and play the race car drivers a game of horse, then have the winners wrestle the basketball players, add in a few pyrotechnics, a buzzer beater free throw, a wreck or two, and some trash talk, that would be entertainment. If a few of them would wear hockey masks, it would damn near be perfect."I decided to give it a rest."So, Benny. Why am I really here? What IS the deep dark secret?"He told me to hold on for just a minute. He came back with a piece of paper and a check. He handed me the check.It was made out to me, for one hundred dollars. The memo line read 'deposit for services to be rendered. The other piece of paper was a binding nondisclosure agreement from a law firm a few towns. So here I am, and I thought I would put pen to paper,‘which is what they did in my day’, but now it’sfingers to a keyboard much easier, and much quicker,and this is my attempt to share some of my guardedthoughts with you, in the hope that they will bringjoy or at least a smile to a wider audience, andpossibly the odd stirring down below.Chapter 1: A fantasy in the makingWhilst planning a surprise weekend away, in the newforest at a romantic little hideaway hotel I recentlyfound on the internet, my imagination got the betterof me and my thoughts were of contriving a meetingwith our friends Peter and Penny. Now I don’t know about Penny, she and Sally meet upoccasionally for coffee and a chat or a girly nightout, but your guess is as good as mine as to what theytalk about, whereas when Peter and I go to the pub aswith all blokes, the subject, after football, gamblingand work etc. always gets back to basics and sex, thelack of it or how you would like to give that.
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